Monday, May 16, 2011

a very merry undate #14

apparently organizing and scheduling is beyond me because i made a mistake and thought i had someone for saturday. i realized my mistake a couple days beforehand and tried to weigh the importance of finding a planned date or just go out on the prowl. i figured that since i've found most of these guys through friends of friends, i'd go out by myself, get ballsy, and talk to some strangers. i had packed my purse with a deck of UNO, markers, and a sketchbook just in case.

i dressed up in my style of saturday night clothes and headed to Shangri-la, one of my favorite bars here in town. i have it in my head that the type of guy i would go for would hang out on the east side. whether or not that's fully true, i don't know, but there's only one way to find out. i grabbed a bottle of Lonestar and sat down on the end of one of the picnic tables outside. before attacking anyone, i wanted to sit down and write and just see if anyone would come up to me- a small experiment, but i've found that either people think i'm crazy for coming to the bar alone with my notebook or it's a great conversation opener.

only about twenty minutes passed and nothing happened except that i had noticed a couple of guys chatting alone. one had his back turned to me, but the other is what grabbed my attention. he had a dark complexion, tattoos, a 1930s (ish) hat that had a Johnny Depp feel to it, and seemed to exude a sense of passion. i decided to just jump right in; if i had thought about what i was going to say past the first line, there's a chance i would have let my head talk me out of it.

i didn't even fully reach the table when, right in the middle of his sentence, Depp told me to have a seat, seamlessly finished his thought, and then flowed right into allowing me to join the discussion. so i asked them how they felt about girls hitting on them. the response i was given: "are you kidding me? we're definitely open to that!" i then asked if they thought that, in general, girls still felt like it was the guys' job to make the first move. i think we all agreed that even though times are changing, for the most part girls still wait around for the guys to talk to them. i personally think that most guys have become wimps or lazy or something and so for a good group of people, nothing ever happens. even they admitted that they would rather just let it happen naturally. on one hand, i can respect that because i think pick-up lines are cheesy and it IS really hard to walk up to someone if you don't have a common interest already known before talking. on the other hand, i think it might be a cop-out. one of them mentioned that they don't really go out; they go to work and to Central Market for groceries. just quickly playing off of that, i asked why he never tries using that to his advantage. this may be a silly example, but say a cute girl is looking at yogurt. why couldn't he go up to her, pick out his favorite, tell her she should try it, and explain why? there are some prime girls that shop in that store! think about it; if you're both there, you both have something in common already.

go to a record store and suggest an album. if you love comics, buy an issue for a girl. who cares if you've never met her or haven't even talked to her yet! expect nothing in return. keep moving. if she reciprocates, awesome. if not, you've still made an impact on her and, more-so, you've earned practice for yourself. maybe you'll just walk away with a new friend... but that's something to still be thankful for. the best way to learn is to throw yourself out there. just keep going and doing and living and eventually you'll find your place or your person or your meaning... right?

we also got to talking about perception of the different sexes going into a bar alone. they seemed to think that a girl walking in by herself was just fine, but the guy tends to be looked at as a creeper. i personally think that if a lone male walked into the bar, sat down with a Guinness, pulled out a sketchbook or notebook, and just went to town, that it would be fantastically attractive. in fact, i would probably let him attack that paper for a while just studying him from afar, then invite myself to the table with another bottle of Guinness. there would be no need for silly introductions; i would simply gesture to what he was doing and say "this is intriguing." we'd probably talk a little about what he was up to and i'd evaluate his demeanor to decide whether he wanted me to leave him alone to work or if he appreciated the strange introduction. again, even if we end up not interested in each other romantically, hopefully i've walked away with a new creative friend.

i hope that's what happened that night. turns out they have a fish n chips trailer which also serves up homemade ice cream. a passion for food, eh? why, me too! while brainstorming ideas i suggested a jalapeƱo jelly ice cream and if he ends up calling me, i'm going to convince him that that's what our date should be. experimenting with food. yes. please.


  1. those are cool hats, so what's his name?

  2. I feel like I know so much more about interaction now. Also, personally, yogurt is usually my best ice breaker.

    PS. Is the proper term for such a Johnny D hat "fedora"? And are you referencing him as Dillinger? Because that would be a sweet date.

  3. it could be a fedora or a flat cap, both were popular then and they have both made a huge comeback in hipster fashion. i'm all for it!

  4. Grocery store, what great advice! I'm totally gonna save some damsel from buying bad hummus. I get so inside my own head sometime, I just think that all the cool kids my age know which hummus is the best.