Saturday, May 7, 2011

date #6: let go

the challenge of writing this entry is just about on par with the difficulty of trying to get this guy to open up. i can usually target someone's comfort zone and hone in on it, letting them know they can be relaxed and themselves around me, but not this time.

i'm not sure if date #6 was trying to filter every single thing he said because he knew i'd be documenting it or if he just wasn't interested in what i had to say. maybe he was just having a bad day? i'm usually really good at reading people but it felt like he had buried the book under his mattress.

it was like trying to walk into the ocean when the waves just keep knocking you down. it was really hard to keep conversation flowing. i felt like every time i brought up a subject and tried to go into detail about it, i wasn't getting very much reciprocation. i love talking about passionate subjects, bouncing creative ideas, discussing controversial issues, debating life, OR being a comical weirdo. i'm not a big fan of small talk and no matter what i tried i couldn't get past it. i thought for a bit we were getting somewhere when we had some truly imaginative films in common, but when i tried to pick them apart... i got nothing. date #6, if you don't agree with my opinions, you can tell me! i won't tear you down, i promise! in fact, i welcome a different point of view.

i'm sorry that i had to say no to go dancing with you. i can only dance if i'm comfortable with the person and unfortunately the only way i can get to that point is if they let me in. i hope the rest of your night was a great one and thanks again for saying yes to be one of my dates. i really do appreciate it.

best part of the date: the beer he chose for me.
best part of the night: finding another date for 30/30 on the way back to the car.
worst part of the date: communication.
worst part of the night: a skinny, toothless man asking me for money, then to go on a date and... ahem... telling me i'm edible while smacking his lips. (go ahead, you're allowed to laugh)


  1. i think you should broaden your horizons and take the toothless cannibal on a date. i mean with no teeth you should be ok. whats he gonna do gum you to death before you notice?

  2. That guy needs to work on himself before he can expect to enter into a relationship, much less date to find a relationship partner =\ Sounds like he's got some hidden issues.

  3. Maybe you come on too strong? It is a first date after all.

  4. Maybe this concept WAS him going outside his comfort zone? Maybe his typical dates are much more conventional so going out with someone as bold as Amber, in personality and lifestyle as well as appearance, was just a really big step? Plus, the whole documentation thing. In any case, kudos to him for giving it a go.

    Amber, this is exactly the type of conversation I hope your blog starts on a regular basis. Different points of view. Not every date will be stellar but there will be something to learn from every experience.

  5. Plus, only having Amber's blog for info, it doesn't sound like he was looking for a relationship necessarily. He could be just passing time.

  6. Meh, I don't know of any definition of "date" that doesn't include looking for a relationship. You don't date to pass time; you hang out with someone to pass time. Shoot, if this were "30 hang-outs with cool Austin guys in 30 days," I'd be volunteering :)